The Candy Bar Caper

What happen was I went for a bike ride cuz is such a lovely sunny day, and you know where my granddaughter said the bike trail was closed and I said it wasn't and damn that's a steep dirt hill past the barricade what say "trail closed" and the bulldozer sittin there in the hardened mud like "you want sumpin?" 

So I head back thu the historical homes district which is a durn nice part a town to live in, or even just to bike around if'n y'don't. Like exploring the ancient wonders of Greece and Rome as fashioned into these grand old relics rich folk maintain. In the sunny warm breeze is quite the awesome splendor. Man them folk had it made afore the horseless carriage invented urban madness. You can even see where the smaller homes beside the big ones, were like for servants and tenants. And the sprawling yards were fer folks and their kin and horses and such.

And lost in all this reverent grandeur, I'se home now and find the door ajar. Which sounds like a Persian - Ajar Haddat maybe - or a close relative to our African cousin Akimbo. But no worry, was a time when nobody even locked their doors 'round here. So with a nice cup a coffee, I settle down to relax with a bite of big old candy bar I keep alongside the easy chair just so is handy. But is gone.

Dangit, the kid found it and swiped it. That's why y'gotta keep the stuff hidden-like. But no, is just moved a little ways, with little teeth mark holes in the side, and bits a paper strewn about. Is what happen when the door is ajar - y'get visitors. So I find some better mouse traps, and break off a couple chunks of chocolate as bait. Next morning, the big chunks of chocolate are gone. Luckily the traps are still intact. Hungry little rascal, hope t'high heaven it aint pregnant and stocking up for the blessed event.

But what t'hell kinda rodent tries t'drag off a giant candy bar, then when y'feed it a couple big chunks, it say thank y'ahs, and doesn't even bother t'trip the trap? I wonder...is it nesting somewhere in my old Crate amp, or inside the old console stereo my great aunt left me? I guess it still works, but I just use it for the speakers which I hooked up to an old Marantz receiver I got fer five bucks from a feller in Kentuck when me and the ex-Panamaniac spouse went out t'get an old used washing machine so many many years ago.

Pretty cool. We found him in the freezing cold dark country night, happy as a lark in his work shop shed, what's filled with everything refurbishable you can imagine. He's sittin there beside the old Ben Franklin stove that's so all over toasty warm from the coal you kin pick up right off'n the ground out there in the Kentucky hills. Bill Pancoast would know 'bout that; as he's from there, I think. 

So anyway, when I tried to make the garden fresh green beans that my granddaughter wouldn't eat, I figured I'd eat 'em mysef so as not to tho 'em out. And ever damn time I go to work on the 'puter you can tell the beans are done by the burning smell from the stove. Why is that? So I offer some to the rodent, and I guess they weren't so bad after all. Poor little rascal.