I must disagree with the good doctor. Rap Brown usta say "jealousy is as American as cherry pie." Self-judgment is the essence of a consumer-based economy, and as necessary as breathing.
We wouldn't spend (out our asses) like stupid sheep if t'weren't fer keeping up with our Jones'es. An' Wall Street would collapse quicker'n you can say corinavus, which is wot Cain was try'nt'a impress upon Able.
How we view ourselves is largely based on our view of others, fer better or worse, til death parses us.
Take the boys in Out There - a fabled yarn (or tangled web) 'bout life in the Hippie era after The Nam. You might say "Kurt became a big wig in a major US company" with a perty house (& wife) in upper Empire State. And Buddy became a dope dealer with the demons of deceit, and Rodey became a writer. But whatcha caint say is "who's better off?" That is, which one should be jealous of t'uther.
Cuz we all - all of us - worshiped Buddy, as he was the most clever, the most talented, and the most fun to be around. His was the magnetic pull that all our little lives orbited 'round. Quite symbolically (and factually) a charismatic dope dealer is the literal epicenter of the whole Hippie culture. And personally we all wanted "t'be like Mike."
Why? Well, is simply a measurement tool - like all discernment. Discrimination is the mental capacity to distinguishing apple from orange (lessen it's BlueOrange) (great play, btw).
Like correctional officer Dickhead said 'bout his shiny new Oldsmo'bubble "is a real pussy magnet." Now he may been a fokkin' moron, but most young dumb girls would assent t'his assertion. Or like Kazzy - Buddy's pal, who reminded me a lot of (sheik) Rudolf Valentino said 'bout the meaning of life "well, I popped a lotta cherries in my time." An' fer some reason, I was jealous.
But again, the real perty girl Katie (the other magnetic center of that particular universe) once said 'bout her life "no...I guess I wouldn't change it...I got my three boys, and that's everything to me." Hopefully all parents feel that way. Y'see, what each of us gots aint trade-able. But the only way we can know that is to measure it 'gainst everbuddy else. An' like Lennon said "I don't believe in Zimmerman."
The angst, the dread and self-loathing is "we coulda done better." And the guilt is "yeah, we shoulda done better." But the reality is - we didn't - and we got diff'rint reasons for that. But at least "it was wild...sorta."
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